What a perimenopause-friendly doctor actually looks like

You shouldn’t need a medical degree to get the care you deserve during perimenopause. Yet, for too many women, finding a doctor who truly understands this complex life stage feels like searching for a unicorn. You might have walked out of appointments feeling unheard, rushed, or worse, dismissed. If that’s happened to you, it’s not your fault. But it is vital to know what better perimenopause care looks like so you can confidently find the right support.

This isn’t about finding a mythical, perfect doctor. It’s about empowering you with the knowledge to spot the signs, both positive and negative, so you can find someone who genuinely “gets” perimenopause and provides the holistic care you need.

What does ‘perimenopause-friendly’ really mean?

There’s no official badge or secret handshake for a perimenopause-friendly doctor. However, healthcare professionals who truly understand this stage of life tend to share key qualities that set them apart:

• They prioritize listening, not rushing: A good doctor makes you feel heard, not hurried. They create a safe space for you to explain your symptoms and concerns, even when they’re difficult to articulate. You won’t feel like you’re being shuffled out the door.
• They ask thoughtful follow-up questions: Beyond a simple “How long have you felt this way?”, a perimenopause-aware doctor will explore deeper. They’ll inquire, “How is this affecting your daily life?” or “Is your sleep disrupted too?” They connect the dots between your various symptoms.
• They don’t jump straight to antidepressants: While low mood and anxiety are real perimenopause symptoms, an informed doctor understands the crucial link between hormones and mental well-being. They’ll explore hormonal considerations before immediately prescribing antidepressants.
• They clearly explain all your options: This includes a comprehensive discussion of Menopausal hormone therapy (MHT), but also non-hormonal approaches, lifestyle interventions like nutrition and exercise, and stress management techniques. They recognize that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
• They are honest about their limitations: If a doctor doesn’t know something, they’ll admit it and, crucially, refer you to a specialist who can provide the expertise you need. They prioritize your health over their ego.

Spotting the signs: green flags and red flags

It can be challenging to assess a doctor’s approach in a short appointment. Here are key cues to help you determine if a healthcare provider is a good fit for your perimenopause journey:

Green flags: positive indicators

• You feel truly heard, not interrupted: Your doctor actively listens and allows you to complete your thoughts.
• They validate your experience: Even if blood tests come back “normal,” they acknowledge your symptoms are real and impactful.
• They mention perimenopause proactively: They bring up perimenopause as a possible explanation for your symptoms without you needing to prompt them first.
• They engage in a dialogue, not a monologue: They talk with you, explaining concepts clearly and inviting your questions, rather than simply talking at you.

Red flags: warning signs to watch for

• “You’re too young for that.”: Age is just a number when it comes to perimenopause; symptoms can begin years before menopause.
• “Your blood tests are fine, so it must be stress.”: While stress is a factor, normal blood tests don’t rule out perimenopause, which is a clinical diagnosis based on symptoms.
• “We’ll just try some antidepressants.”: This often indicates a lack of understanding regarding the hormonal component of perimenopausal mood changes.
• You leave feeling more confused than when you walked In: A good doctor should clarify, not complicate.

⚠️ Important reminder: you have the right to choose!

It is completely okay to “shop around” for a doctor who aligns with your needs. You are empowered to change GPs, seek a second opinion, or explore other clinics. This isn’t being “difficult”, it’s actively taking care of your health and advocating for yourself.

How to find a perimenopause-friendly doctor (or empower your current one)

Finding the right healthcare provider can take time, especially within busy healthcare systems. Here are some effective strategies:

Where to look:

• Seek out clinics with a women’s health or menopause focus: Many practices now specialise in this area, indicating a higher likelihood of expertise.
• Consult menopause-related organisations and societies: Reputable organisations often provide directories or lists of healthcare professionals who have specialised training or certifications in menopause care. Examples include:
  • The International Menopause Society (IMS): A global organization that promotes education and research on midlife women’s health.
  • The European Menopause and Andropause Society (EMAS): Focuses on advancing midlife and post-reproductive health across Europe.
  • National Menopause Societies: Many countries have their own dedicated menopause societies (e.g., The British Menopause Society, Groupe d’Etude sur la Ménopause et le Vieillissement Hormonal (GEMVI) in France). These can be excellent resources for finding local specialists or clinics that adhere to recognised standards of care. Look for their “Find a Specialist” or “Certified Practitioner” sections on their websites.
• Ask for recommendations: Friends, online forums, and local support groups can be invaluable resources for finding doctors who provide excellent perimenopause care.
• Search for clinics advertising MHT or menopause services: While not all will be equally up-to-date, this is a strong indicator of interest in the field.

Empowering your current doctor:

If you already have a doctor you generally like but are unsure about their perimenopause knowledge, you can actively advocate for better care:

• Bring detailed notes: Prepare a clear, concise list of your symptoms, how they’ve changed over time, and how they impact your daily life. Check out How to talk to your doctor about perimenopause for guides to download and more advice.
• Use specific language: Clearly state, “I’ve been experiencing symptoms that align with perimenopause, and I’d like to explore whether this might be what’s going on.”
• Ask direct questions: For example, “What is your approach to managing perimenopause symptoms?” or “What are your thoughts on MHT for someone with my symptom profile?”

You don’t need to go in “guns blazing”, sometimes, it’s just about planting the seed and guiding the conversation.

What if switching doctors isn’t an option?

Perhaps you’re in a healthcare system where doctor choice is limited, or you have a fantastic GP for other health concerns who simply isn’t confident about hormonal health. Even then, you still have options to improve your care:

• Maintain a detailed symptom log: This helps you identify patterns and makes your appointments more productive, providing concrete data for your doctor.
• Bring a support person: Having a friend or family member with you can boost your confidence, help you remember key points, and ensure your concerns are heard.
• Use printed resources: If you’ve found reputable articles, guidelines, or research that reflect your experience, print them out and bring them to your appointment. This can serve as a valuable reference point for your doctor.

It’s true that it shouldn’t fall on you to educate your healthcare provider. But until more healthcare systems fully catch up, knowledge truly is power in navigating your perimenopause journey.

The bottom line

A “perimenopause-friendly” doctor isn’t a mythical unicorn. They are simply a healthcare professional who listens with empathy, remains curious, and treats you as a whole person, not just a collection of symptoms. If you haven’t found them yet, remember you are not alone, and you are certainly not stuck. You are absolutely allowed to expect, and demand better care.

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